As Thanksgiving approaches, it’s easy to slip into stress mode. Lists grow longer, plans get more complicated, and the pressure to make everything perfect starts to build — and for many of us, that pressure can quietly nudge the brain into overwhelm, emotional spirals, or even old bipolar patterns that get triggered by stress and overscheduling.
There’s a softer way to move through this season — one rooted in clarity, calm, and small moments of joy. Instead of powering through the week with tension and survival mode, this is an invitation to pause, breathe, and approach the holiday with more intention and less pressure.
When we move more gently through the season, we’re not just making the holiday easier — we’re practicing self‑care that truly supports our mental and emotional well‑being.
1. Make Space for More Than Just To-Dos
Yes, the errands and logistics matter — but so does peace of mind. Alongside your regular to-do list, create a calm list: a few small things that bring comfort, joy, or rest. Light a candle while you prep. Play your favorite playlist. Schedule a moment of quiet before the big day.
It’s also a good time to take a second look at that to-do list and ask: What can I let go of this week? Ditch the nonessentials, space things out, and try not to stack 50 tasks onto one day. A little breathing room goes a long way.
2. Define What “Enough” Looks Like
Not everything has to be homemade. Not every decoration needs to be Instagram-worthy. This is the perfect week to ask: What is truly enough for me this season? Whether that’s one home-cooked dish or just making it through the week with kindness intact — it all counts.
You can also ask for help. Let others bring a dish, pick up a store-bought dessert, or handle the parts that don’t need to fall on your shoulders. Sometimes letting go of control adds a beautiful layer of connection to the day.
Over the years, I’ve gone from making full, everything-from-scratch meals (turkey, dressing, potatoes, yams, corn casserole, buns, three relish trays, desserts…) to choosing the basics — turkey, dressing, potatoes — and letting my family fill the gaps. And you know what? We discovered my daughter makes the best cranberry dish ever. That shift created space for more joy and a whole lot less stress.
3. Leave White Space in the Plan
Overplanning leads to overwhelm. Leave space in your planner pages, your calendar, and your expectations. Build in moments to rest, breathe, and reset — especially in the middle of busy days. White space isn’t wasted time; it’s essential time.
And if you’re a planner (OCD master here 🙋♀️), you can absolutely schedule in that white space with intention. Try listing things like:
- Mop the floor
- Have a cup of tea — the whole cup, not just one sip
- Take out Grandma’s dishes
- Tell someone (or text someone) one great story about those dishes
Thanksgiving is about being thankful — not creating a mental health crisis. Build moments into your plan that ground you in what really matters.
4. Choose a Gentle Intention
Instead of focusing only on what needs to get done, choose one word or phrase to guide the week. Something like “ease,” “connection,” or “simple joy” can help keep things grounded and meaningful when the holiday rush takes over.
Try posting your word somewhere you’ll see it — on your planner, fridge, mirror, or even your computer screen. (I like to change my login screen so it reminds me of the meaning, not just the to-do list.)
And along with that gentle intention, take a moment each night to quietly reflect on what you did accomplish. Surviving the day counts. You might not check off ten tasks — but tending to your needs, showing up for yourself, and making it through? That’s just as important.
Closing Thoughts
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to feel like a race. With a few gentle shifts — and permission to do things in a way that feels true — this week can hold more clarity, care, and calm than chaos. You’re not just preparing for a holiday; you’re supporting your mind, your energy, and your well‑being.
By moving softly through the season, you give yourself the gift of better self‑care — and that’s something to be grateful for, too.
And your family? They’ll be grateful, too — not just for the meal or the plans, but for seeing you enjoy the holiday. For not feeling like they have to tiptoe around your triggers or watch you overreact to a crooked placemat. (Speaking from experience here — and learning to lead with grace instead.)