Thanksgiving can be beautiful, meaningful, and full of warmth ā but it can also be loud, overstimulating, and a little emotionally loaded. Whether youāre hosting, traveling, or keeping things simple at home, the week can stir up more than just gravy.
Sometimes, though, not getting it right ends up being the best thing.
Iāve had some doozy Thanksgivings ā but one in particular still makes us laugh. I was pulling the second-to-last dish out of the oven and somehow managed to cut my knee wide open on the oven door. Everyone ate. I spent an hour at the ER (which was empty, thankfully). We still laugh ā not because it was funny, but because… who does that? Who cuts their knee on an oven door? I had a soaked skirt from where they had to wash the wound. I was determined to finish Thanksgiving and make it perfect ā right up until my husband saw the bones in my knee.
Hereās the thing: no one is going to die if dinner turns into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It might even turn out to be the best thing for everyone.
So this post is your soft permission slip to do things differently. To move through Thanksgiving with more calm, more presence, and less pressure to get it all āright.ā
1. Begin the Day with a Breath
Before the to-dos start and the kitchen gets busy, take a quiet moment. Even 30 seconds can create a sense of calm that stays with you. Sit down, breathe in slowly, and remind yourself:
āI can only do what I can. And thatās enough.ā
And while it might seem counterintuitive, I start every holiday with a shower, do my makeup, fix my hair, and get dressed up ā not to impress anyone, and not even to look good. I do it to take care of me first. Itās part armor, part anchor ā a way to remind myself that I am special, that I matter, and that I deserve to feel cared for before I step into a day spent caring for everyone else.
2. Build in Micro-Moments of Pause
A full break might not happen ā but a reset doesnāt need to be long. Step outside for a breath of fresh air. Sip your coffee without multitasking. Sit in a quiet room while the pies bake. These tiny pauses are powerful. They bring you back to yourself when everything else feels loud.
Speaking of quiet rooms ā yes, the bathroom totally counts (especially for moms). Even something as simple as washing your hands can be surprisingly refreshing. Not just the quick āI need to cookā kind, but letting warm water run over your fingers, feeling the rinse, the reset.
Iāve learned that Iām a water sign, and water calms me. It grounds me. Maybe thatās true for you too ā or maybe itās three deep breaths in the hallway, or standing in a sunbeam by the window. It doesnāt have to reset the whole day or anyone else. It only has to reset you.
3. Let Go of the Pressure to Get It Right
The food might be late. The kids might be wild. Someone might forget the rolls. And guess what? It can still be a good day. This isnāt about perfection ā itās about presence.
And presence isnāt just about slowing down ā itās about the people youāre with. The ones you celebrate and who celebrate with you.
Iāve seen (and tried) so many beautiful ways to build that connection. Weāve sung the prayer ā a tradition passed down from my grandparents. Weāve gone around the table and shared what weāre thankful for, or simply told stories for the next generation to hear.
That kind of connection? Thatās the part that stays. Long after the meal is eaten and the decorations are packed away, that is what people remember.
4. Capture One Quiet Joy
Before the day ends, pause and name one small joy. Maybe itās the smile of someone you love. The first bite of your favorite dish. The exhale after the house quiets down. Let that be the moment you carry forward. Not what went wrong ā but what felt right.
One thing thatās always felt right to me is the hugs as people leave. Not only do they meet my dopamine requirements (hello, nervous system reset), but they remind me that no matter what happened that day, these are the people I care about ā and who care about me.
Sometimes there are more people at the table, sometimes fewer. And those changes, while bittersweet at times, also remind me that this ā like any living, breathing thing ā is a moment to acknowledge growth and change. A moment to be present in what is, rather than caught in what was or what couldāve been.
Closing Thoughts
Thanksgiving doesnāt have to check every box to be beautiful. When you give yourself permission to slow down, to take up space, and to release the pressure ā thatās when the real presence begins.
Whether today feels joyful, tender, overwhelming, or all of the above ā youāre doing enough. You’re allowed to show up imperfectly and still find meaning in the day.
Now go burn a turkey, scrape a knee, drop a dish ā and remember that itās okay. No one expects perfect. The crack makes the dish so much more meaningful.